Last night, as you held me in your arms and as we danced under the stars, I felt peace.

Last night, I fell in love.

Courage

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,be afraid that it will never begin.

The Ugly Truth

"Men are completely unreliable…you think you know what men are gonna do, you think you know what men want to do. But when it comes right down to that moment where they actually need to step up and I don’t know, make a move, they chicken out. The big, strong, brave men that we’ve all been reading about in novels and watched in movies since we were nine years old, that’s a fallacy. They don’t exist. Men are not strong. Men are not brave. Men are afraid. Even if they have a moment in a hotel elevator and it’s totally romantic and full of potential. Men are incapable of copping to it because men are weak."

" In the pedestrian lane of relationships, are we chickens if we don't cross the road?"

Ugh!

I'm exhausted. This week has been physically, emotionally and mentally draining. I just want to get away from it all..maybe lock myself in my room and not come out for 3 days would do. Wish ko lang talaga. But as usual, gabundok nanaman ang trabaho ko and as usual procrastination nanaman ang drama ko. Langya talaga, hindi na talaga ako nagbago. So instead of getting some real work done, I decided to rearrange my bedroom and clean out my junk. Albeit it's 10 minutes to midnight, the genius in me decided that now is the right time to clean instead of going over that long overdue proposal.

Hay..style ko talaga minsan eh bulok.

Ewan

I never thought the day would come where I would actually find someone I would think of "that way" in this country. I swear. Sometimes I amaze myself at my stupidity. I guess that's what I get for not using my God-given brain whenever I open my mouth.

So yeah. I like him. I shouldn't. When I think about it, everything tells me not to do it. Don't go there. Don't do it. Pero ano magagawa ko? Matigas ulo ko eh. Hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ako nauumpog. Yeah, it's that bad. And no, I'm not in love. Yet. Thank God for small favors huh? But what I am is bothered. For the first time I found someone who is sensible. A good thing knowing how impulsive I get. He's got a great sense of humor and he's smart enough to keep up with me. The best thing about him is how much he respects his family, his kid sister and most especially his mother. I see good things in him, things I know are hard to find nowadays. We've spent countless hours together just getting to know each other. And sometimes I think that there's something there. There are a lot of possibilities. Possibilities for problems too yes, but who cares when you know when you're happy. I've always been a firm believer that a person has the right to do whatever it is for you to find happiness, for you to find inner peace. That's something I never thought I would find here. I never thought I would find it all to be honest.

Pero ayun na nga. Ika nga ni Bob Ong, " Kahit gaano ka kabagal maglakad kung ayaw ka naman niya habulin eh hindi ka niya maabutan kahit na mag stop-over ka pa!"

He's asking me to be patient. To let him think things through. Ako patient? Kung hindi mo alam kung ano ako sayo eh ano pa ba ang hihintayin ko? Hihintayin ko pa ba na mauntog ka? Hindi ba dapat alam mo kung may kwenta yung tao? Kung trip mo ba o hindi? Bakit ka mag aaksaya ng panahon kung makikipag gaguhan ka rin lang? I don't know. Maybe because I feel like I'm too old for this crap. I just wish that he would be man enough to choose a side. To choose my side. I refuse to play this guessing game kung ano ba ako sayo. I refuse to chase you and ask for you to give me some of your time. Tapos na ako diyan. Pinag daanan ko na lahat yan. Sawa na ako diyan. Hindi na ako bata. So ayun, like a true coward I told him that we can just forget about it. I don't want this complication. Let's quit while we're ahead right? Before someone, before I get hurt. Ayoko na ng ganun eh. Hassle sa puso. Hassle sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. How can you say that we started something shaky? What's shaky about it? Yes, there are complications pero why do other people matter? I refuse to give anyone that power over me. Funny. Sabi mo I would probably bail out before you do. I guess you were right. Ewan ko ba. Duwag na siguro ako. I've been burned before and it sucks big time dude. It's not something I want to happen again. Been there, done that, not doing it again.

Hay buhay nga naman. Kung di ka ba naman nakakagago eh ewan ko na lang. Minsan kala mo sa akin umiikot mundo mo. Minsan naman kala mo ni hindi tayo magkakilala. Eh pucha! Parang kagabi lang eh magdamag tayo magkausap. Ganda pa kamo ng setting. Tapos today you say that you need to think things through? Ni hindi mo pa sasabihin kung hindi kita kinausap ng matino. Pucha daig mo pa ang babae eh. And siguro nga, I will never understand your culture. Maybe I will never understand how you really feel. Maybe I don't even have to, maybe we'll never even get there. But how will we know if we don't even try and give it a chance.

Ewan ko ba. Ano ba nanaman tong pinasok ko?!