I've often wondered what happened to us. I've often wondered if I made a mistake.
You see, there's something wrong with me. I never really stick around to fix it. Trust and loyalty come before anything else. Once that's been broken I usually don't think twice and just move on. It doesn't matter if you only have a few friends as long as they're the right kind of friends. So when it's time to let go, that's what I do. I let go. I walk away. It doesn't matter if you're a friend, boyfriend, best friend, even my father. Yes, my father. But that, is another story for another day.
Today it's about the childhood friend. Yes I know, usually you outgrow each other but we were different. I guess you could say we were kindred spirits. Until I realized she was human too. By then it was too late. My pride wouldn't allow me to look the other way and pretend everything was alright. So I walked away and threw away years of friendship.
A few years back I apologized. A few months ago we started talking again. It's so weird. I try to act as though nothing happened. As though everything's alright. But I often find myself thinking what if? What if she was still my friend? Talking to her now I see that she's changed. She's grown up and moved on. Why does it feel like I haven't? Was there even a point to my anger? And is this how regret feels?
You see, there's something wrong with me. I never really stick around to fix it. Trust and loyalty come before anything else. Once that's been broken I usually don't think twice and just move on. It doesn't matter if you only have a few friends as long as they're the right kind of friends. So when it's time to let go, that's what I do. I let go. I walk away. It doesn't matter if you're a friend, boyfriend, best friend, even my father. Yes, my father. But that, is another story for another day.
Today it's about the childhood friend. Yes I know, usually you outgrow each other but we were different. I guess you could say we were kindred spirits. Until I realized she was human too. By then it was too late. My pride wouldn't allow me to look the other way and pretend everything was alright. So I walked away and threw away years of friendship.
A few years back I apologized. A few months ago we started talking again. It's so weird. I try to act as though nothing happened. As though everything's alright. But I often find myself thinking what if? What if she was still my friend? Talking to her now I see that she's changed. She's grown up and moved on. Why does it feel like I haven't? Was there even a point to my anger? And is this how regret feels?
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