"When you don't know what to do, don't do anything..."

Wanting

I finally got to go for a Red Cross First Aid Training. It was kinda cool since I've been wanting to go for the past few years but never really found the time to do so. My knees are bruised from kneeling over the dummy doing CPR. Obviously I'm don't kneel very often..lol! Anyway, that's what's been keeping me busy. That and a hundred other stuff for work.

It's a slow Sunday night tonight and I'm feeling kinda low. I miss home. I miss the Philippines. If I were home tonight I would probably be hanging out with a couple of my friends having a beer while listening to some band playing some sappy song. How I miss having a beer...I miss being able to let loose and not worry about a thing. I haven't been tipsy in ages, not even remotely. Sigh.. What a life...I miss my friends, even those who aren't really my friends. I just miss the connection. I miss Makati. I miss the smog and the traffic and the malls. I miss the noise. I miss the celphone networks! Being able to text and call cheaply. I miss the cinemas! I haven't seen a movie in ages. I miss Tagaytay. I miss Alabang. I miss the beaches of the Philippines. I miss my life.

Confession

I've often wondered what happened to us. I've often wondered if I made a mistake.

You see, there's something wrong with me. I never really stick around to fix it. Trust and loyalty come before anything else. Once that's been broken I usually don't think twice and just move on. It doesn't matter if you only have a few friends as long as they're the right kind of friends. So when it's time to let go, that's what I do. I let go. I walk away. It doesn't matter if you're a friend, boyfriend, best friend, even my father. Yes, my father. But that, is another story for another day.

Today it's about the childhood friend. Yes I know, usually you outgrow each other but we were different. I guess you could say we were kindred spirits. Until I realized she was human too. By then it was too late. My pride wouldn't allow me to look the other way and pretend everything was alright. So I walked away and threw away years of friendship.

A few years back I apologized. A few months ago we started talking again. It's so weird. I try to act as though nothing happened. As though everything's alright. But I often find myself thinking what if? What if she was still my friend? Talking to her now I see that she's changed. She's grown up and moved on. Why does it feel like I haven't? Was there even a point to my anger? And is this how regret feels?

Megalomania

The son-of-a-fucking-bitch has such delusions of grandeur that I am just amazed. The asshole is not even in our fucking org chart and he has the nerve to announce to people that I work for him?? Wow. Galing ha. Hanep! Sobrang bilib sa sarili, bow ako! I am not worthy! Leche! Wala, wala na ako masabi. Makarma ka nalang sana! Kung hindi pakukulam nalang talaga kita! You give gay men a bad name. And that's saying a lot!!

Moron!

Turns out that the day after friday the 13th is not my day. Yes, it's definitely not my day today. I don't understand why some people are just plain morons. Were they born that way? Is it a gift? Or is it something they learn from their mothers??

Tandang Sora

We had another serious talk with my boss today... Again he talked about wanting us to work together for the next 15 to 20 years if all works out.

I guess Spiderman's dad was right, with great power comes great responsibility...pero pucha, pano nalang ako mag aasawa niyan??! Nyemas!

m.o.m.o.l.

I learned a new term today...

MOMOL, as in "make out, make out lang."

Hahaha! I wish I could listen to magic 899 from here..sigh

This place is just so technologically retarded.

de-Tagged

Ok so I've been tagged by Hitori a long time ago and as much as I've been wanting to do it, it actually took me a 48 years to get it done. I'm telling you, procrastination will be my downfall. To be fair though, I'm in the middle of a two-week workshop so I'm extremely busy. But between preparing for my presentations and having tons of side-meetings, thinking of random things about myself has been at the back of mind. Although laos na tong tag na to, I actually found it quite intriguing since I've never really took the time to take note of my quirks.

So here goes.

1. Post these rules. 2. Post ten random facts/habits about yourself. 3. Choose ten people to tag and list their names.

10 Random Things About Me:

1. I don't like earphones. I don't like the feeling that I can't hear what's going on. It got worse after that incident at MIT, there was a shootout and some students didn't even know that people were dying. So needless to say, I've got an ipod with over 3,000 songs and I hardly ever get to use it unless it's on speakers.

2. I get turned off by inanities such as "poh," "eow," and "aq." I'm a firm believer that texting ruins your spelling and vocabulary which is why I take the time to spell the whole word. Even if it means I have to spend more time and money.

3. Chewing with matching slurps and sounds absolutely drives me up the wall. I just hate it. If you chew that way in front of me, it would take all my powers not to say something rude. Whenever it happens I try to tune the other person out but I still hate it. All my friends chew properly.

4. I have mood swings which are like fungal infection, the best way to aggravate it is by scratching it. It's better left ignored. It's not about you. If it is, the more you can't do anything about it.

5. I can't stand hypocrisy. I don't care about your genealogy, ethnicity, or your curriculum vitae. Intelligence and wealth are like underwear: if you have it, don't flaunt it. If you do, shame shame.

6. I am proudly independent. I only do things when I want to. I don't ask permission for my pleasures. I moved out the day I graduated and have vowed to myself to never move back in. Probably why my life revolves around work. And probably why I'm still single.

7. I knew I was independent as early as I can remember. When I was a kid, all my Barbie's had their own condo, car and they travelled the world. Ken, unfortunately was always a boyfriend and never a husband.

8. At work, I'm the only girl in a team of 10. Although I'm fiercely independent, secretly I like the fact I don't have to lift a finger when it comes to chores. Aside from being the only girl, I'm also the youngest.

9. I'm not exactly superstitious. But every New Year's Eve, you'll see me jumping up and down. I don't actually believe I will grow taller, but you never know. Who knows? I believe that anything's possible so maybe a few more years of jumping on New Year's Eve, my 5'5 frame will be 5'7. Hah!

10. I love to sleep. My bed is my zen, sleeping is my zen. Which is why a lot of effort is put into getting the right kind of sheets and making sure I have enough pillows and a comfy blanket. My bed is the only witness to my life. Goodness, if my bed could talk...hahaha!

So after a shouting match with the arrogant bi, I'm now trying to keep a low profile. I didn't really mean to get into a fight with him but as usual, the urge to defend (aka butt in!) won. I couldn't really just sit there and allow him to insult my friend right? Right!

I really hate it when people throw the phrase "you're being defensive"! I mean, really! Can't you come up with anything better to say? I guess their offense is their defense, or their defense is there offense. Hmm, whatever! The point is, I really feel bad for this dude. Being a certified true aquarian, I can say that I'm pretty good at empathizing. But still, it amazes me how most people have such low level of awareness. When you're an arrogant bastard, I'm sure there must be some indication pointing to the fact that you are an arrogant bastard. You can't just go through life acting like one and never realizing that the people surrounding you hates your guts!