My Idol

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"Time will heal a broken heart, just as time will heal his broken arms and legs."

Jim Henson, 1986

Over the years, I've evolved my own set of beliefs and attitudes - as we all have - that I feel works for me.

I believe that life is basically a process of growth - that we go through many lives, choosing those situations and problems that we will learn through.

I believe that we form our own lives, that we create our own reality, and that everything works out for the best. I know I drive some people crazy with what seems to be ridiculous optimism, but it has always worked out for me.

I believe in taking a positive attitude toward the world, toward people, and toward my work. I think I'm here for a purpose. I think it's likely that we all are, but I'm only sure about myself. I try to tune myself in to whatever it is that I'm supposed to be, and I try to think of myself as a part of all of us - all mankind and all life. I find it's not easy to keep these lofty thoughts in mind as the day goes by, but it certainly helps me a great deal to start out this way.

At some point in my life I decided, rightly or wrongly, that there are many situations in this life that I can't do much about - acts of terrorism, feelings of nationalistic prejudice, cold war, etc. - so what I should do is concentrate on the situations that my energy can affect.

I believe that we can use television and film to be an influence for good; that we can help to shape the thoughts of children and adults in a positive way. As it has turned out, I'm very proud of some of the work we've done, and I think we can do many more good things.

When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope still is to leave the world a little bit better for my having been here.

It's a wonderful life and I love it.

Mel Gibson

In describing its portrait of a civilization in decline, Gibson said, “The precursors to a civilization that’s going under are the same, time and time again,” drawing parallels between the Mayan civilization on the brink of collapse and America’s present situation. “What’s human sacrifice,” he asked, “if not sending guys off to Iraq for no reason?”

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Just when the world realizes he's human after all, he sobers up.

Listen To It

Are you kidding me?!

I spent the weekend at my grandmothers' house. It's funny, it never fails, each time I spend the weekend I end up having to watch those freaking Koreanovelas. I swear there are hundreds of them! I start out protesting and bitching about how I hate having to watch those but somehow in the end I get coerced into watching. And of course, smart girl that I am, I have to know what happens in the end!

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It's like reading a book, you can't just start in the middle (just in time for the climax) and not know how it ends. I'm just not going to be able to stop thinking about it, I won't be able to sleep till someone tells me what happens to xiaun yu or kim yu bin or whoever the hell the freak it is! Damn those shows. I'm telling you it's like a cult or something.

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What really gets to me is that my grandmother just doesn't see that it's just like any other soap, she actually thinks that the soaps are a cut above and the rest of the world pirates their stories from the koreans. Hah! For your information, just like any other soap, korean soaps have the usual drama, suicide, adultery and get this, all kinds of cancer. One needed a bone marrow transplant, the other had cancer of the stomach while the other had Lukemia. It's just so bloody depressing.

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So yes, my weekend was just so productive I could kill myself. Yet who am I kidding? I may complain all I want and still I get sucked into this viscious cycle of korean soaps. I just have to finish them right? Argh! Great, just great. I'm personally responsible for driving myself crazy!

Bothered

I just attached the song of il Divo to my blog, and though I know that Popsiccal (a.k.a. a combination of pop and classical) tunes is an acquired taste, this particular song I really like. What can I say? I'm just as vain as the next guy. Let's just say this song means something. Anyway, I can always choose not to hear it. I'm actually one of those that get annoyed when I visit someone's blog then the music starts blaring, I get turned off and just leave the freaking site.

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I spoke with my uncle yesterday, actually chatted with him. He's based in Houston where he's taking his 107th degree in one of their Universities. We were talking about his dad, he's in his 70s and he likes to talk about death and being in the 4th quarter of his life. I spent the weekend at their house but not once did I go out, I just watched TV and slept (major couch potato at work), while his dad kept going out on lunches and dinner dates with his friends.

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Anyway, my point is, I told my uncle that his dad had more of a life than I did. He said that I had no life at all to begin with. Not until I leave this god forsaken country and leave for abroad like the rest of my fellow countrymen would that even be remotely possible. That bothered me, never mind the fact that I could be exaggerating it a bit. But I mean, I'm not exactly averse to the idea of leaving my country, in fact I have been whining myself to death for the past two years about how I want to do exactly that. But what bothered me was that fact that he was right. I don't have a life. Like I have put everything on hold till I do get out of here and then that's when I start living my life. What the hell is wrong with me? Ok whatever, I will not even start dwelling on the innumerable ways of how fucked up I am, I shall just leave it at that.

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I'm bothered.

He Conquers Who Endures

~ Persius, Roman satirist and philosopher

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"Life doesn't always work as well as we'd like, and despite our greatest efforts, sometimes our best-laid plans go awry. It's at times like these that we must believe in ourselves more than ever. We have to choose to believe we will make it through, past, and over any and every obstacle; that no matter what, we will succeed. For it is only when we make this choice to believe that in spite of everything we will make it, that life agrees, once more, to conspire with us, and our chances of making our dreams come true are infinitely increased."

Beautiful

The dressing room of Mariah Carey was featured in In Style. Although everything was immaculate, it was the picture of all her shoes that left me in awe. Now this, people, is my new goal in life!

Watch Your Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it Won again. The local paper read:

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PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT

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The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he Ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:

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BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

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This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearbyconvent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

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NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

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The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

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NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

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This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

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NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

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The bishop was buried the next day.

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The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Whales!

My best friend and I attended one of those hoity toity fundraisers for coral reefs conservation. It was ok, the best part was that the wine was free flowing but other than that it was pretty obvious that the organizer was an amature at these things. Actually I know this for a fact since we work in the same office and they're my friends. Haha!

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The best part about this event I guess was that my bestfriend and I won some stuff. Okay, I won the grand prize and she won a free 3 day stay at one of the high end resorts. Yes, I won the grand prize. I know, I don't sound very enthusiastic about it. Well...it's not that I don't like it. Hey, it's free so that alone is something that makes me happy. What exactly did I win? Well, I won an all expense paid trip for 2 to go diving with whale sharks. The clincher here is that the prize also includes the service of an underwater video photographer. This would be great since she's going to be filming my trip ala MTv style and she's supposedly really good. The only thing that's bothering me is that my prize is not valid till March next year and well, let's face it, I'm not exactly known for long term planning or long-term anything for that matter.

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But hey, I won the grand prize! I've never won first prize for anything so this is for the books. I'm happy to be able to go diving again as I haven't gone in awhile. I'm just going to have to find the courage to approach these whales so goodluck to me! Overall though, I'm glad we got to go. Not only did the coral reefs benefit from us, but we benefitted from them as well. God save the coral reefs!

Lost Souls

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared, some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good and some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls and sometimes all you need is 1."

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a quote from One Tree Hill, I'm not exactly a fan but I really like this quote so I thought I'd post it here...

Tag, you're it!

I tagged myself. I can't help it, it's contagious. I don't usually like doing this things, I find it too cheesy, but then you read another person's blog, and you feel like doing the same thing too. Happens all the time. Anyway, it's my blog so you can mind your own business if you don't like it.

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ABOUT YOURSELF

Eye color: Dark brown

Hair color: I'm not sure, I keep changing it, somewhere between black and brown with some streaks...I think.

Piercing: Three on each ear (I'm tempted to get one on my tongue but I think I'm too old for that)

Tattoos: None (I'm tempted to get one too, but I'm too chicken!)

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Nope, none. I'm not sure I'm ready but there's gotta be somebody out there, right?

Overused phrase: Whatever/Seriously. (Whichever works for the moment)

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FAVORITES

Food: Japanese food. Love, love, love it!

Candy: Orange Tic Tacs (They're white but orange flavored)

Number: 1

Color: Purple

Animal: Dogs. (The real ones, not those wimpy toy dogs carried by Paris Hilton wannabes)

Drink: Iced Tea

Alcoholic drink: Vodka or Tequila

Letter: IC

Body part of opposite sex: Where do I start???

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THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Coke (Gotta kick the habit though)

McDonalds or Jollibee: I like the fries in MCDonalds but I like everything else in Jollibee.

Strawberry or watermelon: Strawberry. (Except for my hand sanitizer, it's kiwi Melon. Is that the same??)

Hot tea or iced tea: Iced tea

Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate but I prefer whit chocolate

Hot chocolate or coffee: Hot chocolate

Kiss or hug: Both

Dog or cat: Dogs, I can't stand cats.

Rap or punk: Punk

Summer or rainy season: Rainy season. I just wanna curl up in bed and feel lazy.

Scary movies or funny movies: Funny. I can tolorate scary movies but be ready to be attacked if you watch with me! You'll end up bruised.

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YOUR…

Bedtime: 2 am

Most missed memory: Not having a care in the world.

Best physical feature: I'm not sure I have one. Hahaha

First thought after waking up: "Five more minutes!"

Goal for this year: Be emotionally stable.

Weakness: Shoes, shoes, shoes!

Fears: Knives

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HAVE YOU…

Ever drank: Duh, yeah.

Ever smoked: Occasionally. Trying to quit now.

Ever been drunk: Uh, yeah.

Ever been kissed: Seriously.

Ever been in love: Unfortunately, yes. Just once, I'm not planning on repeating that mistake anytime soon though. (No. I am not bitter!)

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IN A GUY

Favorite eye color: Blue. Sigh. I Wish! Haha. Anything. Doesn't matter.

Favorite hair color: Brownish?..Whatever, doesn't matter.

Short or long hair: Doesn't really matter as long as he doesn't look like a slob.

Height: Definitely has to be taller than me

Style: I like em rockin' and I like em clean and smart. Again, as long as he isn't a slob, please.

Looks or personality: Personality, hands down.

Hot or cute: Hotttt.

Drugs and alcohol: Uhm... hehehe. Don't make me answer this one.

Muscular or skinny: Neither. Muscular guys give me the creeps and skinny guys, well they look kinda funny.

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RANDOMS:

Number of regrets in the past: 2 (1, some guy I shouldn't have hooked up with. 2, where I went to college, I shouldn't have let my family have any control over that)

What country do you want to visit: Italy! Greece! Switzerland!

How do you want to die: Doesn't matter as long as I've made my peace with things.

Do you like thunderstorms: No, not really. I lik the rain that comes with it though.

Health freak: Nope, not really.

Do you think you're attractive: Do I have to answer that?? I don't know, sometimes.

Believe in yourself: Hah!I think I over do it. I've actually been getting sooo much flak for doing so!

Do you smoke: Yes, occasionally. Hasn't this been asked already?

Do you drink: Yes, occasionally. This one, too!

Shower daily: Once or twice

Been in love: As I said, unfortunately yes.

Do you sing: Nope.

Do you dance: Yes!

Want to get married: I'm not sure yet.

Want to have kids: I'm not sure about this one either.

Age to lose virginity: Huh? Hey whatever works for you, man. It's your life and your virginity to lose.

Do you hate anyone: Uhm, no...not really. Almost, but not quite.

Solitude

My friend took this picture. And as I am not exactly in the mood to get philosophical and write about some mundane thoughts on my life, I decided to post it as is and share it with the world. It provokes a lot of thoughts on its own I think, so I hope it's as good for you as it was for me.

Faith

As I was flipping thru the channels last night, Faith Hill and Tim Mcgraw were guests of Oprah.
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I was thinking that despite they're celebrity status they seem to come off as the real deal. And in this day and age being 'real' is something of a big deal.
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I remember Oprah saying that people were in awe of them as they inspire hope, hope that relationships can work out. For someone like me, it seems hope is all there is. That and faith.

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I grew up in a family that never really put much stock in relationships, at least not enough to make it last, being happily married is nothing but an oxymoron. The thing is, not having good examples growing up doesn't exactly inspire confidence in relationships. (Probably why I suck at them big time!) Now, there isn't really any tangible proof that I'm screwed up, you just have to take my word for it really. Yet, I realized that I have been trying to cope by looking at outside sources to stand as my inspiration, that I have been psycho-analyzing every decision I make, decisions that over people make even. And as I continue watching the Oprahs and Faith Hill of this world, I can't hlp but wonder whether I'm going in the right direction.

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Who knows right? Oh well.

Books Galore

I went to a book fair this weekend.
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It was actually pretty cool, it made me feel so grown-up!
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If not for the fact that my heels were three inches high I probabaly would have a really great time. Or the fact that there were more text books and religious books than a simple person like me could appreciate, I probably would have a really great time. Or if it wasn't for the sweltering heat, I probably would have a really great time.
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Who am I kidding?! The highlight of that trip is that we had some really good milkshakes and french fries after. Yum!

The Touch of Bhe

My friend and I went to the spa last weekend. Seriously, it's a good and reputable place. Overall it was pretty relaxing if not for one of the attendants who was in charge of the scrubs. When we first got into the torture chamber lookiing room for this scrub she decided to give off this obviously memorized spiel. It was hilarious! "You will have smooth and silky skin ma'am", she said in this sing song voice.

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But, nice as I am I would just giggle and ignore. Say uh-huh, ok. At the end of our session she went into another spiel. "So ma'am, if you liked the touch of Bhe, you could always request for my services and I will wait for you when you arrive." She said again in that somewhat irritating sing song voice of hers.

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For a short instance, I considered the chance that she might have some lesbian tendencies. Possibly.

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The touch of Bhe...Gee, talk about creepy!

Business Proposal

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office...but she belonged to someone else...

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One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you.

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The girl said, " NO."

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Johnny said, " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

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She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.

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She called her boyfriend and told him the story. The boyfriend said, "Ask him for $200, then pick up the money very fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepted the proposal.

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Half an hour went by and the boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened..

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She said, "The bastard used quarters!"

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Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Shoes!

I took the day off yesterday to take care of some chores. I got the cable fixed, I got my shower heater installed and I got my locks changed. I also got a new deadbolt lock installed. Looking at all those locks from the inside of my apartment, I couldn't help but ask myself if I was turning into a pranoid psycho b*tch. But after all was done I was satisfied so why question it.

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Anyway, I decided to go to one of those shopping centers to buy a friend a birthday present. As soon as I got to the place, I was overcome with a surge of adrenaline rush and it felt like I haven't shopped for ages. In reality, it hasn't been that long, only maybe a couple of months since I had to pay off the dentist and move to a new apartment. But I'm tlling you, I swear, I felt like an addict on a high going through all the goodies.

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One of the sales ladies said in this loud voice, "Ma'am! Buy from me and I will give you an incredible discount!"

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Incredible huh? Well, incredible or not, I went home with a couple of new shirts, a new bag and best of all a new pair of shoes! Yes shoes!

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I was so happy with those shoes that I could hardly sleep last night.

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Yes, shoes make me happy. *sigh*