As I sit at my desk trying to figure out a way to outsmart my boss, I find myself thinking for the hundredth time today, there's really gotta be more to life than the everyday crap we people have to deal with.
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This is my second attempt at a blogger's life. I thought to myself "why bother?". But then again, why bother about anything at all?
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I sit here thinking of a way to do my work and yet not have to do it at all. Makes any sense? I used to love my job. I even used to think I had it better than most by having such a cool job. Not to mention that some people might even think it noble. But I'm not happy, and that just doesn't constitute a cool job if you're not happy. Oh it's not as if it's any secret, my discontentment. Some of my friends think I should just quit and find something else. My answer to that is I'm not a quitter. I say it with such conviction that even I believe it myself. But the truth is I'm scared. I'm scared shitless as to what the real world out there would be like. I've gotten used to getting things my way, embarassing as it is to admit, but I'm one of those who's afraid to get out of her comfort zone. Believe me though when I say that I rarely show it. In fact, some people know me as the independent girl who's got a mind of her own..does what she wants and doesnt feel sorry for herself. Partly true I guess, except for the feeling sorry part, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm scared.
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I'm just plain old scared. Pathetic huh?
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Oh come on! Spare me the crap! How many of you worked for crappy jobs and did the same old crappy thing everyday? Then thought to themselves when is this shit ever going to end??!
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I am not alone I know. But wherever you are, whoever you are...You must know how it feels like to struggle with life everyday.
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Don't get me wrong, I'd like to think that although I'm scared I'm stronger than I think I am. We all are. Someone once told me that sometimes you shouldn't think about what you're going to do, that sometimes you just have to do it.
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Just do it! I sound like a freaking advertisement! But seriously, think about it. Remember those times when you were young and you would do things and damn the consequences? Wouldn't life be a mess if we kept doing it that way though?
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Sometimes I think that life would probably be better if we just run away. Just drop everything and run away from all the crap. But then we all know for a fact that crap has a way of catching up with you right? Man, whoever said life's a bitch definitely knew what she was talking about!
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