Thursday, July 06, 2006

Oh Crap!

Ok, I know. I’m so bloody negative it’s starting to make your ears ring. But isn’t that what blogging is all about? An outlet for you to bitch about every possible thing that could go wrong in your life. Heck, you can even bitch about someone else’s life!
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So yes, this is my blog where I complain about a lot of things, including my lack of success and whine about mundan things that no one cares about.
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I know, I know. I’m a crappy writer. I don't even deserve to be called one. God knows though that I have to start practicing if I ever want to get anywhere on those freaking essays!
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Some days, the words come easily. Sometimes, though, there are simply too many...way too many...thoughts. It’s hard to craft a sentence when thoughts (or fragments thereof) clamor incessantly inside my skull, begging. It doesn't help either that these thoughts usually present themselves in the middle of the night, when everything falls silent. If only I could remember what it was exactly I wanted to express, if I could form my words just so it’s coherent enough to make some bloody sense instead of all this verbal mush coming out of my mouth! ( Or in this case, my fingers.)
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It’s a trap though, the words “if only”. Once you start, an endless string of problems would follow. If only this, if only that would never end. The envy, the jealousy, the regret would begin.
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It’s an ugly phrase, “if only”.
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It's almost as bad as “I didn’t think”.

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I think I just lost my train of thought here...

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