Do unto others...

I work with assholes, assholes and more assholes. Oh yes, some of them are idiots too.

There's something sweet when you're around long enough to witness someone get their bad karma. I mean, for over a year no, I've kept my cool. Today, all those that they considered allies are actually enemies. And here I am on the sidelines, watching them fall apart. You know how it is...divide and conquer.

As evil as that sounds though, I actually think that a little karma is nothing after I put up with all kinds of harrassment from those assholes.

Her kid is in the hospital. His wife is in the hospital too. I don't know, but I am not feeling an ounce of sympathy towards them. In fact, I want more. I want them to feel how they made me feel. I want their children to feel how they make other people feel. And yes, maybe for thinking that way I would get my karma too. But right now, I'm thinking that it just might be worth it.

Bond. James Bond.

I saw the new movie of James Bond over the weekend. Although a lot of people were making a big deal out of the casting of Daniel Craig as the new James Bond, I agree with Ms. Travelocity that "Bond never seemed so hot being so cold!" Another thing, I think that the time has come for Pierce Brosnan to move on. Squeezing another James Bond movie from Mr. Brosnan just might make me gag from too much cheesiness.

I read that apparently, the new James Bond star is sick and tired of being offered a martini everytime he walks in to a bar. He's also fed up of fans asking him if he prefers it "shaken or stirred". (His drink of course!! Get your mind out of the gutter) He says, " I want to chin people who ask me that." Haha And to think he got a lot of crap from people who thought he couldn't hack it. He even got a lot of hate mail from die hard James Bond fans. Hello?? Get a life people! The man may not be Sean Connery but it still is just a movie. Worth $40 million dollars yes, but still just a movie. The world does not revolve around James Bond. (Hey! Sounds like a good title for his next film!!)

So yes, I decided to see for myself what the fuss was about and to be honest I thought that the film was great! Not perfect but still I was pleasantly surprised! Daniel Craig pulled it off plus more. He did a really good job making it look real. He was actually oozing with bad boy sex appeal. Goodness, whatta body! Pierce Brosnan did a great job, but I feel that it was time to move on so don't get me wrong. Apparently so did the producers or so did he since Daniel Craig is now the new Bond. James Bond.

It's definitely worth watching. Just ignore the spider-man stunts and you've got yourself a winner. And for those who will get confused with the end, then just think harder or ask a friend. For a short moment there, I had to use my brain to understand why Vesper (Bond Girl) did what she did.

Bloopers (But who cares right??)

Daniel Craig’s white fire-proof suit is visible in a scene in which he climbs into a burst fuel tanker

007 uses a nail gun to kill one of the villains the final battle, but guns can be fired only when they are pressed up against a hard surface

Vesper’s chest fails to rise during mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

Source: moviemistakes.com

So I did my reserch on Daniel Craig and he had this to say regarding the bruhaha surrounding his role for James Bond:

"I was affected by it - of course I was. What bothered me was that I was being criticized before I had done the work. I wasn't going to get into an argument with these people, so my only response was, 'See the movie and then you have the right to criticize, but first see what I am trying to do.' It strengthened my resolve. I was hurt by it, but it just made me try harder. The pressure was there. I know a lot of people feel very passionate about the Bond movies, but so do I, so I just got on with it. What I tried to achieve was just making a movie people will want to go and see, and I think we have made a great movie. One of the things I was criticized for was that I looked like a bad guy, but I was happy with that because I think true good guys have to step into the dark side to do their job. I wanted people to question Bond's morals and his judgment."

Sleep...I need sleep

It's been such a long week for me. I've had to go to class after work everyday so I'm feeling really tired now.

Although I have short moments where I ask myself if it's worth it, I know that it is. One thing I regret is that I should've done all these things a few years ago then maybe I wouldn't be cramming so much. But I figured that it could worse, I could have taken all these exams and reviews a few years into the future instead of right now. So I should just shut up and pay attention in class.

I have to take major math reviews for the exam I'm planning to take. I went to class the other day, in the first five minutes my eyes were glazing over. After 10 minutes I had a major headache. I'm seriously going to need a miracle in order to ace this exam.

Still, there's something nice about taking classes again, something nice about learning the old fashioned way. Something about going back to a classroom after almost 7 years you know.

Anyway, I got our plane tickets to Singapore today. I asked my friend to send me a fax of her passport. I asked for the front page since it has all the details (Passport number, name, validity etc.). I also asked for the last page since this has the emergency contact numbers and your signature.

So she sent it to me, but she only sent me half the last page. The page for emergency contact numbers was missing, like a piece of paper covered it. I asked her about it, apparently she did cover it since she wrote down her OWN contact numbers.

Gee, in case of an emergency and anything happens to me, like death for instance...call me.

What can I say? She said she wasn't breastfed when she was a kid. Now I know what happens.

Mid - Life Crisis

Got this email from a friend:

Well, it's not really a midlife crisis, but here's how things worked out for me. Married 32 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 32 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 20 year old. Now we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 52 year old woman.You're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 20 year old blond to sleep with and she would see to it that I would once again live in a cheap apartment, drive a cheap car, sleep on a sofa bed, and watch a 10-inch black and white TV.

Personality Test

I took this simple Personality Test and it's actually pretty accurate!

You come to grips more frequently and thoroughly with yourself and your environment than do most people.

You detest superficiality. You'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk.

Your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you require.

You do not mind being alone for extended periods of time. You are rarely bored.

Happy Feet!

I can't wait!

Caliente!

My drinking buddy and her hot hot boyfriend.

Shetters!

I gotta get me one of those!

sigh...

Mi Casa Ideal

We were asked by my spanish teacher, whom I find hot by the way, to describe our ideal house. So ever since I was young I always thought I would live in a big apartment, never a house. I don't have much use for a big house if I don't have any plans to get married anyway (I know, never say never!)

Anyway, as I grew older this apartment has now evolved to what we call a loft. Close to what you would see in The Village in New York I guess.

So this is basically what I wrote:

Te mando una foto de mi plano de casa ideal. Mi casa ideal es un apartamento del piso alto. Tiene tres dormitorios, un salon-comedor, un cuarto de lavadero, la cocina, dos cuartos de bano y garage de acceso dirsto. Tiene un dormitoros grande y los otros dos mas pequenos. Y el cuarto d bano tiene camino al armario y la tina grande. Mi casa tiene un balcon, una chimenea francesa y un centro de entretenimiento. Tambien la cocina grande tine una ventana de bahia, la ventana da al jardin y piscina. Mi casa s bastante comoda y cerca de la playa. Tambien bastante grande y muy bonita.

Cool huh? My first whole paragraph. (ok second, the first one was about personal stuff so that doesn't count) It basically says my ideal house has 3 bedrooms, a deck, walk in closet (so important!) and it's near the beach (hey gotta dream big!) It's a really crappy paragraph but I wrote it. I'm really proud of myself for learning a second language. I was thinking of taking French too but I didn't think my brain could take it. Plus I procrastinated so I was late for the enrollment. As usual.

Call me Ms.Productive

I'm just all Ms.Productive today! Happy happy joy joy...Woohoo

JetStar Asia has a promo. US$22 One Way trip to Singapore, really really cheap so I jumped on it. I've been planning to visit my friend but ,nice person that I am, I really didn't want to spend the whole $400 to get there. I would rather use the $300 difference as pocket money. It was really impulsive though since I was supposed to use that money for a trip to Davao City this December for my friends' wedding. But since Singapore was cheaper than Davao...I'm sure he'll understand. Hahaha

I also finished my spanish class in Instituto Cervantes so I am now on to the next level. Over the weekend, I finally enrolled in a review class for GMAT. God I hope that works out...Math has always been my weakest subject.

So yes, I didn't procrastinate at all this weekend. Now all I have to do is fill up my applications. I'm gonna get right on it...tomorrow.

TGIF!

It has been such a slow slow slow day for me. Probabaly coz I don't really have any pending deadlines...well, nothing quite urgent!

So here I am, trying my best to look busy when in fact all I've done today is download some christmas songs for my iTunes, reviewed for my spanish class and the rest I forget. I'm sure I did some work...I think.

I'm so bad I know but I'm sure we all have days like these...

I guess it doesn't help that I was on the phone with my mom for more than an hour at 2 in the morning. She lives in New Jersey so 2 in the morning is the perfect time for her. Of course we didn't talk about anything important, just catching up on family gossip...

Ahhh, I want to go home! i want my bed! Hm, I wonder if anyone will notice if I sneak out...

Sandra

I just downloaded a Barry Manilow song called "Sandra". Ok, so to some people that just might be pushing it but to others he is still a classic. Probably really baduy espcially since I'm adding on to his list of songs like "Mandy" and "Somewhere Down the Road" to my iPod.

But what can I say? I have my moods, so there are times when I'm in the mood for really sappy songs just so I can emote. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of RnB songs so my tastes vary from sappy to funky. Don't worry, I also have "Shake that Ass For Me" by Eminem and Nate Dogg and "Dreaming with a Broken Heart " by John Mayer and other tasteful songs in that genre. So there's hope for me yet.

So anyway, as I was saying, I was listening to "Sandra" and I realized that the girl in the song committed suicide. (I think)

She was doing the dishes
When a glass fell and broke on the tile
And she cut her wrist (quite by mistake)
It was real touch and go for a while

I grew up with this song and I only now realized what this song really means. Just like when my mom spent the whole afternoon watching Myx and MTv, she realized that songs from my generation actually makes sense.

Interesting. When I was young I wanted to be called Sandra instead of Isabelle and yet I lived my life afraid that this would be the theme song of my life.

She says Oh God I love my husband and I love my kids
You know I wanted to be like my, my mother
But if I hadn't done it as soon as I did
Oh there might have been time to be me
For myself, for myself

I'm so weird!

Hm

The mother of my aunt's friend is depressed. Another friend died and she's afraid that she too will die soon. All her friends seem to be dying on her one by one. So yes, she feels bad. She doesn't eat, sleep or leave the house.She just doesn't feel like doing anything.

She said the last friend that died on her was too young to die. She was 86 years old.

The mother of my aunt's friend is 92 years old.

I'm scared to tell her that it's kinda inevitable.

Life in the 1500s

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

• Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. (You can forget about the flowers then!!)

• Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

• Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.Hence the saying. It's raining cats and dogs.

• There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
  

• The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor.

• The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a threshhold.

• In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner,leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

• Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

• Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
  

• Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
  

• England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the gravyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a … dead ringer..

Pet Peeve

One of my greatest pet peeve (I have a long list!) is when someone makes a lot of noises when they eat. You know what I mean? I hate it when they make all that chomping sounds as though they haven't eaten in decades. I especially hate it when you hear the sound of saliva shlopping syap syap (Ok, I had to make that up).

It drives me nuts!

Unfortunately for me, I sit next to a guy at work who eats exactly like that. Goodness gracious man! You drive me absolutely crazy! Match it with a really loud obnoxious personality and you've got yourself a winner!!

Every-single-freaking-day I have to gather all my strength, I have to control myself. I just want to throw my shoe at him and ask if he was raised by pigs!

Inhale, exhale...get a grip Isabelle, don't get worked up over this crap...Hm, maybe if i throw my shoe at him he won't mind. It's a free country anyway and I would be expressing myself.

Yeah right. If only it were that easy.

I'm Sorry

The mother of my close friend is dying. I guess the doctors gave up...she's dying of cancer and she has less than one year to live.

In some ways I guess you could say that you are lucky to have enough time to take care of things, say goodbye and leave with peace. But then you're dying. No one knows what comes after that. And it's the people you leave behind that will have to cope with picking up the pieces.

What do you say to the person who's waiting for her mother to die? How do you find the right words? How do you say that you'll be there for her and sound like you mean actually mean it. How do you say you're sorry without giving a speech of generic bullshit?

The thing is, I cannot even begin to comprehend what she must be going through. I don't want to be a hypocrite and pretend that I know how it must be when I probably would end up dying too should this happen to me. I just cannot imagine life without my mother.

Oh cha, I really am sorry. I wish I knew what to say. I wish I knew how to make you feel better. But I don't. So I will not say anything but I know that with years of friendship between us, you know that I am here praying for you.

CopyLeft

Why do people blog?

I don't know and I don't really care. Despite the fact that I enjoy reading other people's blog I'm really not here for others. I'm here for myself. Blogging is like therapy for me. After my short bout with some kind of stupid depression because of my stupid decisions, I thought blogging would be a good outlet for me. Blogging keeps the loneliness away. I can say what I want, post what I want without being judged. Or at least not care who passes judgement.

Selfish? Yes, maybe. But the way my life has been going for the past few years I firmly believe that I have the right to be selfish. So I refuse to apologize for whatever I post in my blog. You're bothered? Well, as I will eloquently put it, you can go fuck yourself.

Copyrights? Plagiarism? Hoo-bloody-kers?! I don't really give a flying fuck. As long as no one is getting hurt then I'm all for the promotion of freedom, cooperation and freedom of expression.

Here's the link in case you've never heard of such thing: CopyLeft

Happy Halloween!

It's a holiday tomorrow! Happy happy joy joy.

Oh yes, sorry. It's all saints day. Still I'm glad I get to stay away from the office from hell. Even if I have to spend the whole day in the Cementary! (Though I admit, fish balls and kwek kweks? No contest!)

I'm spending halloween in my grandmother's house, I'm hoping I don't get nuerotic again and scare myself to death. I am going prepared though, I brought with me "Prison Break" and "Dark Angel". No more Haunting...or maybe just one show or two..

Spook-keh

One thing I like about the halloween season are the scary shows on TV. Now, I'm not really a horror buff. I just like watching those true stories on ghost sightings.

So that's basically how I spent my weekend. It was one scary show after the other. My fave is the one from Discovery channel "A Haunting". But I watched "Constantine", "Hell Boy", and that stupid alien movie. I also watched those shows on channel 7 and channel 2 on ghost sightings.

I spent the weekend in my Grandmothers house, where I've had a few ghostly experiences so it was probably not a good idea to watch all these spooky shows. But what can I say? I'm stubborn. And yes, stupid at times.

I watched so many scary shows I ended up not being able to sleep the whole night Saturday. I literally lay there forcing my eyes to stay open. I kept the lights on, the TV on, still I could swear that I could hear footsteps outside my door. I could hear every little creak. The only time I went to sleep was as soon as I saw the sun rising at 6am.

The thing is, looking back, I swear it was really stupid of me to let my over active imagination take over. But really, I would rather be awake and see a ghost than wake up to one. I don't think my heart could take it.

At Your Own Risk

A few nights ago, as my friends and I were walking home, we passed a man who was sitting on the steps of one of the residential buildings. He asked if any of us knew how to speak english, I think he was part american, he then went on to explain that his wallet got stolen and could we spare him a small amount of money just enough for his bus fare home.

I know, I know! Don't talk to strangers blah blah blah. I've been told that my whole life. But it's just difficult when someone is asking for help. I always have this inner dilemma as to whether I should help or not. I sometimes try to analyze if a person is telling the truth, I ask myself if I should just help anyway? If I do, am I just helping support their drug addiction?? But the thing is, I feel that if they realy do need help then at least I was able to help out even if it turns out to be a lie.

Needless to say, I probably do end up supporting theur drug addiction. What can I say? I have lapses, I can be as gullible as next person especially when I leave my brain at home!

I'm sure we've all heard this story before. Everywhere I go there are people with the same MO. But we fell for it. Hook, line and sinker.I think we all left hoping that the man was telling the truth. That we were able to help him somehow.

Anyway, I ran into the man again. He must've not recognized me since he gave me the same story.

I laughed. I guess the first thought in my head when I saw him was " oh shit, we got duped."

I felt kinda sad though as I thought about it more. I guess it kinda feels like he proved all that is wrong with this world. I felt that he also proved that some people will always take advantage of you no matter how good you are.

I haven't told my friends. I'm not ready. Maybe tomorrow..

Do you Work for a Psychopath?

It's confirmed. I work for a freaking psychopath. Run for your fuckin lives!!

http://www.doyouworkforapsychopath.co.uk/initial.php?id=q1

A psychopath. Great. Just freakin' great.

Lunacy

I took the bus to my friend's house yesterday. And though commuting has never been a problem for me, this was one of those times I swore something bad would happen.
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Getting off at a shady part of town was not a good idea especially when there were a group of thugs surrounding me. You should have heard the inner monologue I was having with myself. It went something like this:

You're going to get mugged! You're going to get mugged! You moron, you should have taken a cab! Shit, I should cross the street. What do I have in my bag? My celphone, my wallet. Fuck! The stuff, the pearls I have to send my mom. I can buy new ones. Shit, it would be a pain to buy a new celphone and shit, get new IDs with two freakin different names. No, you can do without those things. I hope I can get my sim card back. Maybe they'd just get the money and leave the wallet. Shit, I should have finished that course on self defense. I never finish what I start. Yes I do! Moron, there's five of them. Shit, this asshole is right behind me.

That's when I decided to jump in a cab and slap myself silly and get a grip. Yes, I too have an inner monologue. Yes, it's embarassing.

I didn't get mugged. But that was a really exhausting trip.

Questions

I've always been proud of the fact that I am not a materialistic person. I don't really own anything that would give me second thoughts should I decide to just pack up and leave. No car, no house, not even a subscription to my mobile phone service provider. Everything I have in my apartment, with the exception of my passport, I could leave within a moments notice. Of course, should you analyze things much closer, all this actually means is that I am not a big fan of commitment. Which is probably why commitment to me goes as far as my one year contract with my apartment and with my job. Both renewable of course but also could easily be terminated b either party.
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As my friend left this morning to meet the man she is going to marry in a couple of weeks , I can't help but wonder what it would be like should my time come. Would I make the same sacrifices? Can I make the commitment? Would I want kids? Would I be faithful? Would HE be faithful? Etc. etc. etc.
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I don't really think that I would end up alone, really, I feel that I am just too passionate a person for that. Yeah, maybe it will all just come naturally, but whenever I think about the fututre, or whenever I see women with 4 kids all under the age of 10 in tow, or whenever I see my aunt ruin her life for that cheating husband of hers, I can't help but think that life should be better than that. Like that song goes, there's gotta be more to life.
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No, I'm not a bitter person. I guess I've always been an old soul on young shoulders. But growing up, I was never the one playing mommy or princess. Playing with my Barbie dolls, they were always the ones who travelled to exotic places, had their own penthouse apartment, one car and one dog. (I don't really like cats and the stupid birds always died.) Probably why I moved out the day I graduated, I'm living out my Barbie's life. How twisted is that?!
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Oh well, this is probably one of those things that only time will tell. In the meantime, I'm just going to have to put up with my nuerotic self.

Achaan Chah

"Do everything with a mind that lets go.

Do not expect any praise or reward.

If you let go a little, you will have a little peace.

If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.

If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom.

Your struggles with the world

will have come to an end."

Callah Teh

I've been taking spanish lessons for the past couple of months now. Yes, this is probably the 3rd time I took this course since College. You would think that I'd be fluent by now but, pathetic person that I am, I'm now on my 3rd venture trying to master a new language. Don't get me wrong, it's not because I failed the other 2 times I tried it, but because I was just too lazy to pursue it.

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But I'm glad I'm doing it and that I'm taking it in Instituto Cervantes. Feels authentic. Like it's the real deal. I feel bad sometimes when I think about it though, like I wasted a lot of time. If I had just finished what I started back then I would be pretty fluent by now. Oh well.

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What really sucks is that I just realized that I'm the oldest person in the class. Even older than the substitute teacher last saturday. It was at that moment I felt the urge to lie about my age. It was then I understoood what the fuss was all about.

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Ridiculous. At 27 years old, I lie about my age. Shame!

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P.S. I told the truth.

Hola!

Yes, it has been awhile since I last posted. What can I say? Procrastination is what I do best. I don't have an internet connection at home so most of the time I just do it during office hours. Hah! Complaints? I say screw them!

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Anyway, it's just difficult for me since I usually get the urge to say something witty in the middle of the night then completely forget about it in the morning. I've tried to writing it down or saving it on my laptop but it's just not the same so I've decided not to bother.

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My best friend is leaving for the states in less than 48 hours and boy I am so jealous. I wish I was leaving too. Anywhere is fine, it doesn't even have to be the states. I'm that desperate.

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Yes, I got another memo. I must be breaking some record somewhere with the most number of memos from management. They must be getting a kick out of the migraines they give me.

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Ah whatever! They can go to hell for all I freaking care.

Pareskevidekatriaphobia

Try saying that 10 times.
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Why? Just to see if you're a dumbass like me who has nothing better to do with her time that's why.
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So what is "Pareskevidekatriaphobia"? It's actually the fear of friday the thirteenth. Derived from the fear of the number thirteen itself. And since today is friday the thirteenth I thought I should mention something about it. Click on the link just so you learn something new today.

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So if you're a superstitious fella then you might want to consider staying home today. I for one plan to stay home tonight, not because I'm a superstitious person but because I don't really have anything better to do. What I have is work. I know, pathetic! I swore I wouldn't take home any work, not if I work for that hairy ass bastard but old habits die hard.

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Anyway, that isn't the point of this post. The point is I decided to take the afternoon off yesterday afternoon just cause I got tired of seeing the ugly face (which looks like the devils hairy ass!) of my boss. (Wait, I have to puke!)

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Ok, so I watched the movie of Kevin Costner and Ashton Kuthcher called "The Guardian" about the US coast guard rescue swimmers. It's a bit cliched actually but I liked it. The only part that sucked was when one of them died. Wha? Huh? What the?! Yes, you twit I gave away the ending. Well, not really. You still have to guess which one of them actually dies. So I didn't really give it away.

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I like watching Discovery channel and once watched a documentary on the deadliest jobs on earth. They featured the crab fishermen of the Bering Sea and how they put their lives on the line just to make a living. Watching "The Guardian" focuses on the people who makes the rescue and nothing much about the fishermen but just seeing the Bering Sea makes the danger and the risks a bit more realistic.

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So if you're crab fisherman out on the Bering Sea on friday the thirteenth, I seriously would not want to be you.

A Complete Fucking Idiot Part 2

After my outburst yesterday one would think that I would be calm by now. Actually I'm not, but I'm handling it pretty well. I could've told him to his face to go fuck himself but I'm much better than that. I prefer to out-smart the other person and irritate him to hell then I tell him to go fuck himself.

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Hah! I wish!

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What do you do when your boss is a complete idiot? Do you kiss ass? Do you stick to your principles? Or do you just quit?

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Unfortunately, I decided to stick it out. I'd like to say that I get a kick out of seeing the bastard having such a hard time of firing me but, as much satisfaction as that brings me, I simply get tired of all the games after a while.

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The sad thing about it is that I put up with his kind of harassment just because I'm not ready to leave my comfort zone yet. I just keep telling myself soon. I'm getting myself out of this mess soon. Well, obviously it's not soon enough.

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I swear, if only murder were legal.

A Complete Fucking Idiot

Some people are just such fucking assholes. I swear, I wonder if they were born that way or if being a complete fucking idiot was something their stupid mothers taught them to be.

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To each his own man. I'm a big believer in all that crap. One must do what one must do in order to be happy. Hey I'm an aquarian so more power to free will. But when idiocy takes over, and your compulsion to make people feel inferior then Fuck you!

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The thing is, I also believe in Karma. So for now, aside from giveing that complete fucking idiot the evil eye, I am simply letting karma take its course. I am focusing all my energy so it affects his family and his only child. May she suffer three times as much as how her moron of a father make other people suffer.

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What can I say? Cross me and I'm a bitch. He more than deserves it.

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Too bad I work for the fucker.

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Fuck this life!

So Sick

I've been feeling really sick lately. Sick in the sense of illness and not disgust ok? So I haven't really been up to updating my blog. It's just so stupid. My cough lasted for more than a month and I finally just got rid of it a couple of weeks ago and here I am again with a bad cold. No amount of Vitamin C or PPA seems to work. Also, I almost ended up in the emergency room the other weekend if not for my stubborness. I'm just hoping that it's just the weather or something like that since that is all the hypochondriac in me could handle.

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I keep thinking of this episode on Grey's anatomy where this girl goes in for her routine check up and finds out that she has some kind of cancer and only has a few weeks to live.

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So I took some test to find out my inner hypochondriac and here are the results:

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I scored a 50 out of 100.

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You appear to have some signs of hypochondriac, but not to any extreme point. You worry about unusual symptoms a bit more than the average person, and occasionally blow normal aches and pains out of proportion. It may be necessary to keep a close watch on our health and make the effort to stay "in touch" with our own bodies, but it shouldn't be something that causes major anxiety. You may want to keep your hypochondriac tendencies in check so they don't get the best of you.

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Note: If you really do have some health problems, obviously, none of the above applies.

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Yeah, the note says it all.

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously

give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.”

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A Return to Love - by Marianne Williamson

Sam and the Perfect World

This is the winning portrait at the Outwin Boochever 2006 Portrait Competition held by the Smithsonian in Washington DC.

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Artist Statement

My wife Rosemarie had just given birth to our son Sam, and although he appeared perfectly healthy, something, nevertheless, didn't seem right. There was an awkward silence in the room, no words of congratulation or comments about how cute he was – even though he was cute. Five minutes later the diagnosis was given: Sam has Down Syndrome. "Are you going to keep him?" a nurse asked. Later that evening someone else came by to "console" us. "It's every mother's worst nightmare," she said.

Welcome to the world, Sam.

In America today, perfection is highly valued. We dump loads of chemicals on our lawns to try and get rid of every weed, every dandelion. Models and supermodels are tall, impossibly fit, their clothes stylish and wrinkle-free. Images like this tend to change our perceptions, our ideals, until finally they leave us looking around at the peeling paint on our own houses, and our less than fit bodies, and it leaves us wanting.

Perfection, I would submit, is overrated. And besides, I like dandelions.

In the painting Sam assumes the role of presenter, host, even tutor, of this most revealing examination of the civilization man has made for himself. Sam is not society's accepted definition of perfection. In spite of that, or perhaps because of that, he really does have an important message for everyone to hear.

My Idol

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"Time will heal a broken heart, just as time will heal his broken arms and legs."

Jim Henson, 1986

Over the years, I've evolved my own set of beliefs and attitudes - as we all have - that I feel works for me.

I believe that life is basically a process of growth - that we go through many lives, choosing those situations and problems that we will learn through.

I believe that we form our own lives, that we create our own reality, and that everything works out for the best. I know I drive some people crazy with what seems to be ridiculous optimism, but it has always worked out for me.

I believe in taking a positive attitude toward the world, toward people, and toward my work. I think I'm here for a purpose. I think it's likely that we all are, but I'm only sure about myself. I try to tune myself in to whatever it is that I'm supposed to be, and I try to think of myself as a part of all of us - all mankind and all life. I find it's not easy to keep these lofty thoughts in mind as the day goes by, but it certainly helps me a great deal to start out this way.

At some point in my life I decided, rightly or wrongly, that there are many situations in this life that I can't do much about - acts of terrorism, feelings of nationalistic prejudice, cold war, etc. - so what I should do is concentrate on the situations that my energy can affect.

I believe that we can use television and film to be an influence for good; that we can help to shape the thoughts of children and adults in a positive way. As it has turned out, I'm very proud of some of the work we've done, and I think we can do many more good things.

When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope still is to leave the world a little bit better for my having been here.

It's a wonderful life and I love it.

Mel Gibson

In describing its portrait of a civilization in decline, Gibson said, “The precursors to a civilization that’s going under are the same, time and time again,” drawing parallels between the Mayan civilization on the brink of collapse and America’s present situation. “What’s human sacrifice,” he asked, “if not sending guys off to Iraq for no reason?”

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Just when the world realizes he's human after all, he sobers up.

Listen To It

Are you kidding me?!

I spent the weekend at my grandmothers' house. It's funny, it never fails, each time I spend the weekend I end up having to watch those freaking Koreanovelas. I swear there are hundreds of them! I start out protesting and bitching about how I hate having to watch those but somehow in the end I get coerced into watching. And of course, smart girl that I am, I have to know what happens in the end!

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It's like reading a book, you can't just start in the middle (just in time for the climax) and not know how it ends. I'm just not going to be able to stop thinking about it, I won't be able to sleep till someone tells me what happens to xiaun yu or kim yu bin or whoever the hell the freak it is! Damn those shows. I'm telling you it's like a cult or something.

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What really gets to me is that my grandmother just doesn't see that it's just like any other soap, she actually thinks that the soaps are a cut above and the rest of the world pirates their stories from the koreans. Hah! For your information, just like any other soap, korean soaps have the usual drama, suicide, adultery and get this, all kinds of cancer. One needed a bone marrow transplant, the other had cancer of the stomach while the other had Lukemia. It's just so bloody depressing.

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So yes, my weekend was just so productive I could kill myself. Yet who am I kidding? I may complain all I want and still I get sucked into this viscious cycle of korean soaps. I just have to finish them right? Argh! Great, just great. I'm personally responsible for driving myself crazy!

Bothered

I just attached the song of il Divo to my blog, and though I know that Popsiccal (a.k.a. a combination of pop and classical) tunes is an acquired taste, this particular song I really like. What can I say? I'm just as vain as the next guy. Let's just say this song means something. Anyway, I can always choose not to hear it. I'm actually one of those that get annoyed when I visit someone's blog then the music starts blaring, I get turned off and just leave the freaking site.

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I spoke with my uncle yesterday, actually chatted with him. He's based in Houston where he's taking his 107th degree in one of their Universities. We were talking about his dad, he's in his 70s and he likes to talk about death and being in the 4th quarter of his life. I spent the weekend at their house but not once did I go out, I just watched TV and slept (major couch potato at work), while his dad kept going out on lunches and dinner dates with his friends.

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Anyway, my point is, I told my uncle that his dad had more of a life than I did. He said that I had no life at all to begin with. Not until I leave this god forsaken country and leave for abroad like the rest of my fellow countrymen would that even be remotely possible. That bothered me, never mind the fact that I could be exaggerating it a bit. But I mean, I'm not exactly averse to the idea of leaving my country, in fact I have been whining myself to death for the past two years about how I want to do exactly that. But what bothered me was that fact that he was right. I don't have a life. Like I have put everything on hold till I do get out of here and then that's when I start living my life. What the hell is wrong with me? Ok whatever, I will not even start dwelling on the innumerable ways of how fucked up I am, I shall just leave it at that.

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I'm bothered.

He Conquers Who Endures

~ Persius, Roman satirist and philosopher

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"Life doesn't always work as well as we'd like, and despite our greatest efforts, sometimes our best-laid plans go awry. It's at times like these that we must believe in ourselves more than ever. We have to choose to believe we will make it through, past, and over any and every obstacle; that no matter what, we will succeed. For it is only when we make this choice to believe that in spite of everything we will make it, that life agrees, once more, to conspire with us, and our chances of making our dreams come true are infinitely increased."

Beautiful

The dressing room of Mariah Carey was featured in In Style. Although everything was immaculate, it was the picture of all her shoes that left me in awe. Now this, people, is my new goal in life!

Watch Your Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it Won again. The local paper read:

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PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT

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The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he Ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:

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BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

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This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearbyconvent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

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NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

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The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

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NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

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This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

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NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

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The bishop was buried the next day.

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The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Whales!

My best friend and I attended one of those hoity toity fundraisers for coral reefs conservation. It was ok, the best part was that the wine was free flowing but other than that it was pretty obvious that the organizer was an amature at these things. Actually I know this for a fact since we work in the same office and they're my friends. Haha!

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The best part about this event I guess was that my bestfriend and I won some stuff. Okay, I won the grand prize and she won a free 3 day stay at one of the high end resorts. Yes, I won the grand prize. I know, I don't sound very enthusiastic about it. Well...it's not that I don't like it. Hey, it's free so that alone is something that makes me happy. What exactly did I win? Well, I won an all expense paid trip for 2 to go diving with whale sharks. The clincher here is that the prize also includes the service of an underwater video photographer. This would be great since she's going to be filming my trip ala MTv style and she's supposedly really good. The only thing that's bothering me is that my prize is not valid till March next year and well, let's face it, I'm not exactly known for long term planning or long-term anything for that matter.

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But hey, I won the grand prize! I've never won first prize for anything so this is for the books. I'm happy to be able to go diving again as I haven't gone in awhile. I'm just going to have to find the courage to approach these whales so goodluck to me! Overall though, I'm glad we got to go. Not only did the coral reefs benefit from us, but we benefitted from them as well. God save the coral reefs!

Lost Souls

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared, some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good and some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls and sometimes all you need is 1."

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a quote from One Tree Hill, I'm not exactly a fan but I really like this quote so I thought I'd post it here...

Tag, you're it!

I tagged myself. I can't help it, it's contagious. I don't usually like doing this things, I find it too cheesy, but then you read another person's blog, and you feel like doing the same thing too. Happens all the time. Anyway, it's my blog so you can mind your own business if you don't like it.

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ABOUT YOURSELF

Eye color: Dark brown

Hair color: I'm not sure, I keep changing it, somewhere between black and brown with some streaks...I think.

Piercing: Three on each ear (I'm tempted to get one on my tongue but I think I'm too old for that)

Tattoos: None (I'm tempted to get one too, but I'm too chicken!)

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Nope, none. I'm not sure I'm ready but there's gotta be somebody out there, right?

Overused phrase: Whatever/Seriously. (Whichever works for the moment)

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FAVORITES

Food: Japanese food. Love, love, love it!

Candy: Orange Tic Tacs (They're white but orange flavored)

Number: 1

Color: Purple

Animal: Dogs. (The real ones, not those wimpy toy dogs carried by Paris Hilton wannabes)

Drink: Iced Tea

Alcoholic drink: Vodka or Tequila

Letter: IC

Body part of opposite sex: Where do I start???

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THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Coke (Gotta kick the habit though)

McDonalds or Jollibee: I like the fries in MCDonalds but I like everything else in Jollibee.

Strawberry or watermelon: Strawberry. (Except for my hand sanitizer, it's kiwi Melon. Is that the same??)

Hot tea or iced tea: Iced tea

Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate but I prefer whit chocolate

Hot chocolate or coffee: Hot chocolate

Kiss or hug: Both

Dog or cat: Dogs, I can't stand cats.

Rap or punk: Punk

Summer or rainy season: Rainy season. I just wanna curl up in bed and feel lazy.

Scary movies or funny movies: Funny. I can tolorate scary movies but be ready to be attacked if you watch with me! You'll end up bruised.

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YOUR…

Bedtime: 2 am

Most missed memory: Not having a care in the world.

Best physical feature: I'm not sure I have one. Hahaha

First thought after waking up: "Five more minutes!"

Goal for this year: Be emotionally stable.

Weakness: Shoes, shoes, shoes!

Fears: Knives

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HAVE YOU…

Ever drank: Duh, yeah.

Ever smoked: Occasionally. Trying to quit now.

Ever been drunk: Uh, yeah.

Ever been kissed: Seriously.

Ever been in love: Unfortunately, yes. Just once, I'm not planning on repeating that mistake anytime soon though. (No. I am not bitter!)

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IN A GUY

Favorite eye color: Blue. Sigh. I Wish! Haha. Anything. Doesn't matter.

Favorite hair color: Brownish?..Whatever, doesn't matter.

Short or long hair: Doesn't really matter as long as he doesn't look like a slob.

Height: Definitely has to be taller than me

Style: I like em rockin' and I like em clean and smart. Again, as long as he isn't a slob, please.

Looks or personality: Personality, hands down.

Hot or cute: Hotttt.

Drugs and alcohol: Uhm... hehehe. Don't make me answer this one.

Muscular or skinny: Neither. Muscular guys give me the creeps and skinny guys, well they look kinda funny.

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RANDOMS:

Number of regrets in the past: 2 (1, some guy I shouldn't have hooked up with. 2, where I went to college, I shouldn't have let my family have any control over that)

What country do you want to visit: Italy! Greece! Switzerland!

How do you want to die: Doesn't matter as long as I've made my peace with things.

Do you like thunderstorms: No, not really. I lik the rain that comes with it though.

Health freak: Nope, not really.

Do you think you're attractive: Do I have to answer that?? I don't know, sometimes.

Believe in yourself: Hah!I think I over do it. I've actually been getting sooo much flak for doing so!

Do you smoke: Yes, occasionally. Hasn't this been asked already?

Do you drink: Yes, occasionally. This one, too!

Shower daily: Once or twice

Been in love: As I said, unfortunately yes.

Do you sing: Nope.

Do you dance: Yes!

Want to get married: I'm not sure yet.

Want to have kids: I'm not sure about this one either.

Age to lose virginity: Huh? Hey whatever works for you, man. It's your life and your virginity to lose.

Do you hate anyone: Uhm, no...not really. Almost, but not quite.

Solitude

My friend took this picture. And as I am not exactly in the mood to get philosophical and write about some mundane thoughts on my life, I decided to post it as is and share it with the world. It provokes a lot of thoughts on its own I think, so I hope it's as good for you as it was for me.

Faith

As I was flipping thru the channels last night, Faith Hill and Tim Mcgraw were guests of Oprah.
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I was thinking that despite they're celebrity status they seem to come off as the real deal. And in this day and age being 'real' is something of a big deal.
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I remember Oprah saying that people were in awe of them as they inspire hope, hope that relationships can work out. For someone like me, it seems hope is all there is. That and faith.

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I grew up in a family that never really put much stock in relationships, at least not enough to make it last, being happily married is nothing but an oxymoron. The thing is, not having good examples growing up doesn't exactly inspire confidence in relationships. (Probably why I suck at them big time!) Now, there isn't really any tangible proof that I'm screwed up, you just have to take my word for it really. Yet, I realized that I have been trying to cope by looking at outside sources to stand as my inspiration, that I have been psycho-analyzing every decision I make, decisions that over people make even. And as I continue watching the Oprahs and Faith Hill of this world, I can't hlp but wonder whether I'm going in the right direction.

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Who knows right? Oh well.

Books Galore

I went to a book fair this weekend.
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It was actually pretty cool, it made me feel so grown-up!
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If not for the fact that my heels were three inches high I probabaly would have a really great time. Or the fact that there were more text books and religious books than a simple person like me could appreciate, I probably would have a really great time. Or if it wasn't for the sweltering heat, I probably would have a really great time.
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Who am I kidding?! The highlight of that trip is that we had some really good milkshakes and french fries after. Yum!

The Touch of Bhe

My friend and I went to the spa last weekend. Seriously, it's a good and reputable place. Overall it was pretty relaxing if not for one of the attendants who was in charge of the scrubs. When we first got into the torture chamber lookiing room for this scrub she decided to give off this obviously memorized spiel. It was hilarious! "You will have smooth and silky skin ma'am", she said in this sing song voice.

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But, nice as I am I would just giggle and ignore. Say uh-huh, ok. At the end of our session she went into another spiel. "So ma'am, if you liked the touch of Bhe, you could always request for my services and I will wait for you when you arrive." She said again in that somewhat irritating sing song voice of hers.

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For a short instance, I considered the chance that she might have some lesbian tendencies. Possibly.

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The touch of Bhe...Gee, talk about creepy!

Business Proposal

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office...but she belonged to someone else...

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One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you.

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The girl said, " NO."

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Johnny said, " I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

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She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.

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She called her boyfriend and told him the story. The boyfriend said, "Ask him for $200, then pick up the money very fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepted the proposal.

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Half an hour went by and the boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened..

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She said, "The bastard used quarters!"

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Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Shoes!

I took the day off yesterday to take care of some chores. I got the cable fixed, I got my shower heater installed and I got my locks changed. I also got a new deadbolt lock installed. Looking at all those locks from the inside of my apartment, I couldn't help but ask myself if I was turning into a pranoid psycho b*tch. But after all was done I was satisfied so why question it.

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Anyway, I decided to go to one of those shopping centers to buy a friend a birthday present. As soon as I got to the place, I was overcome with a surge of adrenaline rush and it felt like I haven't shopped for ages. In reality, it hasn't been that long, only maybe a couple of months since I had to pay off the dentist and move to a new apartment. But I'm tlling you, I swear, I felt like an addict on a high going through all the goodies.

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One of the sales ladies said in this loud voice, "Ma'am! Buy from me and I will give you an incredible discount!"

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Incredible huh? Well, incredible or not, I went home with a couple of new shirts, a new bag and best of all a new pair of shoes! Yes shoes!

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I was so happy with those shoes that I could hardly sleep last night.

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Yes, shoes make me happy. *sigh*

Dear Mr.President

- Pink featuring Indigo Girls
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Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly
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What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud
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How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why
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Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pay the road to hell
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What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine
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How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
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Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh
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How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

Pink

I've never been a fan of Pink. But upon hearing this song this morning I think I just might change my opinion. She may come off a bit strong but at least she is using her fame for somthing good. That's more than I could say for those people who are being paid to DO good.

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I've never been a person who enjoyed talking about politics. I've always felt that there are facts not known to the public and that as good leaders, they are making well informed decisions. I've always had reservations stating my political views, I wouldn't want to come out as ignorant but also I know that there are just things that you cannot pass judgement on. Especially if your only basis for this judgement is the media.

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This does not mean though that all is right. In fact, I believe it's the opposite. The oppression that plagues the world saddens me. It's sad how sometimes we take things for granted. The war for example, as people take sides, we forget that no matter what happens, the moment a single bullet is fired, nobody wins.The person that dies will always be somebody's son, father or brother. This then would create a never ending cycle of hate and revenge. But if we all just stop for a minute, stop pointing fingers at each other, and be quiet for a minute. Maybe then we would remember what we are, that we are just people trying to live our lives the best way we know how. I've always believed that one's freedom ends where another one's freedom begins. Respect. It comes down to that.

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Listen to this song and you will know what I mean. Don't just listen though, let it flow freely to your heart and soul, absorb it and you will understand. And maybe, just maybe make you face the facts of the world, make you realize what the world has come to. And hopefully that will be a start, for all of us to get off our ass and reach out to others and make a good difference.

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This song reflects makes a strong statement not only for the president of the United States but every persons being, every other dirty politician, every person in power, taking advantage of their position, stealing, and as the song says, paving their way to hell.

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I don't know, but for me, this song is a reminder that the world is much bigger than us. That there's just so much out there if only we take the time to look.

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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11661343

Sadness

Last night, I had myself a good cry.

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I've been feeling really down for the past few days. And it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I'm broke or that I haven't been well for the past two weeks...well, maybe a little bit. But seriously, for the past few days now I find myself thinking about things.

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I thought about the people that I've lost, why I've lost them. The choices I have made, the person I am today. The discontentment that I feel, what it would be like to just walk away from it all.

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Whatever it is that has been bothering me, I hope I get over it soon.

Movin Up!

sunset outside my window

I spent the weekend moving to my new apartment. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be since my friends came over to help. I was quite lucky since I didn't have to move that far and unpacking turned out ok. I'm now trying to settle in, it's still difficult to sleep at night since I'm not used to the place and I keep getting up every two hours. Don't you just hate that?! I mean, I don't get enough sleep as it is and now I have to worry about adjusting to the new place.

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I threw out a lot of my junk and it feels good. I feel lighter somehow. I look forward to somewhat being able to settle in. My problem really is that secretly, I have this thing about attachments. I don't like getting attached to anything or anyone. I feel like I have to be able to go anywhere and leave everything without anything holding me down.

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Maybe someday I will be able to analyze it and find a way to get over it. But for now, I'm simply content with what it is I have...or don't have for that matter.

Choices

"We are confronted with choices everyday, they are not always easy, or safe, but each choice that is placed before us has the potential to shape us into the people that we were created to be."

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

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3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. Share this list with someone else to make them smile..Its called therapy...